today i was feeling eeky.

So i stayed home. This was right before my shower. and then i went back to pjs. i watched Hamlet 2 and then fell asleep for like 5 hours. I was having like all these random flashes. i was cold then hot and everything hurt. runny nose and breathing problems. dont even know how that came about. maybe because on monday i took a shower in the am and then went to school. hmm, could be. who knows. anyhow im going to sleep now.

A mirror picture.

we were waiting for the metro and we were at the bottom rail. we looked up and what do we see but a mirror. i took a picture of myself and then i told dina to butt in. And this is one of two. ♥ this chick

Band Picture

NEON TREES

Neon Trees LIVE

Me and these two went to go see Neon Trees Live at City Walk. We got there before the show started but we were kind of in the back. then the whole peeing business put us back even further. I wish i had been in the front, that's where the whole commotion was happening. instead i was on the rail singing my heart out to lyrics i knew. i love free stuff and free shows are like fantastic. i cant wait for next Thursday. Performing Live GOOD CHARLOTTE!! Eep.

randomish..

Isnt this lovely??
NO!! I have moments in the bathroom where i take pictures of my self. A lot. theres some that i like and then theres a lot more that i dislike and those get discarded. no need to keep them. unless they are really bad looking that they're funny then i keep those. I didnt even notice that zit until just now. but eh. i love that ring. its so beautiful. first time i spend some money in jewelry.
UGH!! that bitch is soo fukking annoying!! why do annoying people exist. they should just die. they're a waste of fucking species. seriously!! pisses me off. acting immature. like shut the fuck up!! AHH!! i hate people. specially siblings. so fucking pathetic.

I want to be impress

theres nothing that i find impressive anymore and that's quite boring/depressing. depressing in the sense that well im just bored all the time and i have like nothing to look forward to. im not getting suicidal though. just being openly honest. theres nothing getting my attention these days. no interesting book that im reading. no cute guy to secretly look at. no nothing. ive been going to the movies and watching movies at home. thats like what i find time to do. theres a lot of random events/outings. we just get up and do whatever. last night i talked to my cousin and how his cleaning up his act, he has a probation officer now. and im quite proud of him. his definitely come a long way and i know he will be okay at the end. he has a good mentality he just gets astray sometimes. but his good and i will always be there to knock some sense into him. no matter what way. i dont judge him because his old enough to know what his doing. and his very aware. so now his quit drugs&&drinking but his taken up smoking. he has to have something. but its aight i love the guy. and i would stall any time so he could get home a little later just because he hasnt gone out lately. and yeah last night we walked to much and went all around. but hey i really dont mind going the extra mile, literally. lol. just got a text from talia saying shes at this place called "boulevard" and shes eating a burger and its really good and we should go on a date there. shes adorable. anyways, back to my unimpressed moment. i need a life. i have to do my homework as well...so im gone. for now.

"Outside"- Staind

what would it take a friend to get out of the friend zone??

oh idk. they never have gone out of the friend zone. they just stay as friends. usually when im interested in a guy i dont even know them. i like the whole mystery of a person. friends you kind of know how they are and their faults so its not as attractive as a complete stranger.

Dum dum dum...wondering?

if u could go out with any guy u know who would it be??

i dont know a lot of guys. and the ones i do know.. there already in the friend zone.

Dum dum dum...wondering?

Lastly

So im getting shit for saying that what i post here is not suppose to be public. i dont really like it that people mention shit that you post. yes ana im talking about YOU. i dont like it. i dont mind having readers but its not like i want it thrown in my face or brought up. its just like. really?!?!? really?!?! UGH!! thee end.

I wish i knew everything!! There was to know. Like how can my face stay like that always. How can i like myself always. I cant. I dont think its quite possible. They curled my hair and i got some make up on but i dont quite like it. its not ME. Ive never been one to get so made up. it makes me uncomfortable. but Sunday was the day to comply. and i did. had to pay 5 dollars to get some fake eye lashes put on. which is dumb. I hope the pictures come out nice so i could share them with everyone. if they dont come out nice then nobody will ever see them. And i will hide forever.

Dina's B-day!

Ana's laugh, Diana's hand.

The two of us.

the three of us Ana,Elias,Me

A walk down Hollywood blvd.

A Macaroni

Ana && Maria with a big Macaroni. *Thumps Up*

Dina Love

A famous pose (as of now) Diana and the colorful balloons. She didnt want to but they made her pose with them. Happy Birthday to Dina:)

Crazy Maria

We were wearing stripes and called "twins" for a night. Miss Goody toe shoes had to go home though. so no delirious time for her at Norms.

Recently taken with the Boys

They stop by my casa while we were having a carne asada. we played tag and ran around like crazy. every time lex comes to my house he goes looking for the water balloons i have in a jar. they make me blow it for them and then they start playing with them. their so funny. I love them dearly :)

If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?

damn, Ethan Peck<33 his an interesting person.

Dum dum dum...wondering?

What's the longest you've ever gone without a bath or shower?

i think 2 days once. there was no hot water in my cousins new house, we had to head back to the old one. really awkward situations.

Dum dum dum...wondering?

Who's the most famous person you've met?

fukk!! i saw Cory Haim once in the beach. i didnt meet him though. i was too shy. well, i was starstruck we were in the same water. lol

Dum dum dum...wondering?

If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?

ten years ago i was 9. and i was in 4th grade. i would probably tell myself to be more friendly. i really wasn't back in those days. very conceited moments.

Dum dum dum...wondering?

Right now...

I am laying in the grass. Where? Smc campus. Me and talia are waiting for robert to get out of the dentist so then we could go to the movies. Yippy!! Watching; Kids In America. Its a premier so we cant talk about it. Toper Grace && Anna Farris start in it. Im sure it will be funny. I cant wait :D!! Something funny/sad that happen to me today...i forgot my water bottle in my Art History class. I didnt remember until i was peeing in the McDonalds bathroom. I dont even recall why i remembered but i did. We didnt even head back to campus instead we went to the promenade and just walked around. Eventually we came back. Talia wanted to take a nap in the library. I suggested we go and check the class. We went. The main door was close so i checked the second door. It was open!! We checked to see if there was a class in session and there wasnt one. Very hesistantly i went in and BAM!! there was my bottle on top of a table. Very noticeable since its green :D!! Anyhow, i got my water bottle back. :DYAY!!

I feel...

Like a loser. I dont know where exactly im headed. Im feeling quite lost at the moment. I just want to give up but i know thats not really what i want to do. I dont like to give up for no apparant reason. But im so lost. I cant find my way. I dont feel like i have anything to live for. Yeah its quite pathetic but thats how i feel. Im not even trying anymore. Tomorrows test is going to kick my ass. And i feel like crying. But i cant/wont because i know that really wont solve anything. Even though i already tried crying. No tears come out. Which is quite sad. Im so sad. Man, i dont feel like im worth it anymore. My problem is im not sure what would make me worth it. I need that SOMETHING. Whatever that something is. Now im going to listen to my music and sleep myself to death. I wish.

My eyes!!

They are popping!!! Im always getting compliments for my eyes. even though i personally dislike one of them. i wont be pointing fingers. but yeah. grr that pimple!! ruining my life FOREVER!! anywho. one day i will look back at these pictures and entertain myself. were all young once!! i want to remember THAT. ** A Little Bit Longer** Jonas Brothers

Myy Nails

lol. this is soo shareable!! i was like Whoopi!! imma paint my nails today so they could be pretty. i havent painted them in like forever. and now they are painted!! :D

I got..

this beautiful ring. thats its soo beautiful. i love it. it has a purple diamond and i wear it on my ring finger so people could think i am engaged or something. in reality i dont believe in marriage but its a conversation starter. i saw the ring and i loved it. 20 bucks it cost me but its a really nice ring and wow thats the most ive ever spend in jewelery. anywho. thats the picture. cant really see it well. but you could see me. so enjoy :D

On my way...

To the Morongo Casino with the fam. Im actually falling asleep because i am listening to my art history lectures. I have 4 and theyre all an hour long. The teacher warned us that we might fall asleep and it looks like any minute now i might pass out. Im soo sleepy. We went to Don Chente for breakfast that shit was like 73 dollar check. We were like uhh never coming back here again even though the waitress was like Did you like it?? Would you come back next Sunday?? :D We were just like Yeah sure. and now this car ride is making me car sick and i feel like throwing up and my ears are like about to pop (horrible feeling). I dont feel so good. And im quite bored. Now the teacher is talking about angels. Damn, yawning right about now. And its hot..im like sweating pretty sick. I didnt feel like going out tonight i wish i had stayed home. Ahhh. This sucks.

Right now...

Theres this girl talking about her boyfriend? And it seems like he cheated on her and shes telling her friend. and what she really wants to know is if the girl is "ugly" because according to her. She has a weird face with nice hair. Like, where do these people come from. They are soo bizarre. I really dont want to be around this narrow minded people. Who cares what the girl lloks like your boyfriend sort of cheated on you. Doesnt that matter. Wow. Im just really impressed with these people. As you know im very sarcastic :)

Im alone.

and im well aware of it. i dont know what to do about this sudden feeling. i feel like i have brought it on upon myself. i have been pushing everyone away. i dont want to see anyone. i dont want to be in the company of many that want to be in mine. i just dont know how to explain it. but now i feel lonely and i just want someone to reach out to me and make me feel alive. cause suddenly i feel dead. like i dont exist. and i need some reassurance. tell me im here. tell me your there. make me aware. i just want. i want to feel once again. i want hope. i need some hope. im just going back to BLAH.

I've cut my hair.

After many weeks of stalling i finally got around to cutting my hair. even though i was actually going for a trim. after some consideration i ended up blurting out "i want shorter hair". and thats how things ended. thats me now. with shorter hair. at first i was like...NOOOO. but then i got around it and now i like it. i mean who cares its going to grow. and besides my hairs was in really bad shape. and i really want to get rid of those highlights and have my normal hair color again. lol. the last time i cut my hair i did it myself. it looked really bad.

pondering...

Why was I born? What is the big idea of my existence. I want to know. I want to know everything. i wish i knew everything. i hate ignorance. if i knew everything i wouldnt be ignorant. but then if i knew everything there would be nothing left to live for. you see, i live for knowledge. i want to explore my horizons. as they always said. expand your mind and go beyond. dont hold back. ask a question. i wish i had the guts to do everything i wanted to do in order to learn more. i wish i had no hesitance on my ways. i wish everything i imagined i could do was actually done. i want to BE. i want to change the world. make a cause. be known for the right reasons. i wish my stuttering was long forgotten. i want to KNOW who I AM. dont want to struggle with my mind. i want to write and have no "errors". i want to live a wonderful life. i wish i remembered everything. i don't want to be forgetful. i wanted my hair to be shorter. i miss my long hair. i want to cry just because its possible. i want to listen to a song and learn something from it. i want to acknowledge my existence. "look around round round round". i want to see with an artists eye. i want to see the beyond. i want to understand literature. i want to know an author personally. i want to write a book. i want to take a philosophy class. i want to experience something magical. i want a bestfriend again. i want to find that quote that i will live my life by. i dont want to change my pass. but i want to enhance my future. i want a broader vocabulary. i want to learn from myself. i want to inspire somebody. i want to see LIVE all the bands that meant so much to me. i want a boy with a sexy boy. i want to watch a movie and not feel lonely. i wish i could eat pasta all the time. and not get fat. i want to feel healthy. i want a secret. i want hugs. i want 'i love you's'. i want to be love. i want to FEEL love. i want that "mancha" to go away. i want my eye (left) to be normal. i wish i had a radiant smile. i want my painted nails to stay painted. i want wavy hair :'( and possibly healthy. i want to know HIM. i want a brother. i want to feel the same way all the time (about a person). i dont want to be disappointed. i want to feel happy again and again. i want perfect toe nails. i want to go read a book by the beach. i want to just go anywhere by myself. i want to make a strangers day better. i want to smile. i want a pair of Ray Bans black&&forest green. i want a purse that goes with me. i want a job in a book store. i want all the books i have ever read. i want to enjoy some classic literature. i want a cd player. and a record player. i want my own room. i want a laptop. i want an ebook reader. i want to be awesome. i wish i had a different high school experience. i want to forget THAT memory. i want to know MYSELF (again). i want fairness in the world. i want to go on. i dont want to be lost. i want to find my way. i want some new pair of jeans. i want to make time to see all the movies i wanted to watch. i dont want compliments. i dont want to feel shitty sometimes. i want my wrongness to be forgotten. i want to be missed. i want to be beautiful inside and out. i need some glasses. i wish i wasnt so self conscience. i want to go to sleep.

I miss this little monster.

My Lauris. She was lots of fun. I remember the first time she came when she could walk and clean her own butt. We just got along so well and she would just come over and we would spend time together. and we would dance on the aisles of Wal-mart and she would randomely sing any song she knew. well, she would mostly sing My Chemical Romance. She just loved that band. The last time she was here we just took a bunch of pictures of ourselves. we were either online or with my camera. taking pictures of everything and everywhere. Good Times!! I love you mi Lauris